There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
