On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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