It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
