the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize