break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
