You're completely useless in the revolution.
Jerry, you need to find god
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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