This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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