In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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