i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Couch. On fire.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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