i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
