Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
