pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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