She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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