We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
