Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
two words...techno handjob
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
