yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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