I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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