Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Drunk is not a location!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
