we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
