I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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