I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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