And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
