Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
