Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
