First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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