So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
