Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
smell my finger.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
