My nipple is on Facebook.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
