I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
