I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
