TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize