I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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