I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
