Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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