butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
