So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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