thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
