I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize