I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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