I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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