u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
