is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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