Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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