The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
