Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Fuck appropriateness.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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