I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
