i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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