made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
