i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think a kid would responsible me up
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
