so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize