i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
