Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
