dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
