I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize