We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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