He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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