just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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