Already got asked if we're dating
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
